Saturday, April 3, 2010
The stupidest mistake
I cancelled my "emergency" credit card. you know, the one that actually has credit available on it. The one you can go to if you need a car rental or have to travel somewhere or your car dies? I have no idea what to do. My credit is crap right now and it nots my fault. I DO pay my bills. Paying online has been a nightmare not a help. I think that they are paid only the credit companies keep screwing me somehow. Changing the due date from month to month....Walmart really screwed me up. I thought I had them all set on autopay. I was set to pay them $30 a month for 5 months. Noooo, they take $30 and divide it over 5 months so they only got paid $6. Does that make any since? Or Best Buy....ever since I've had my car it was due on the 10th. Suddenly they start calling me telling me the payment is late, they changed it to the 1st! Ok so I don't open the statements...but I'm not making any charges and I pay the bills online. I am so completely fucked. I ws going to pay for school with that card. I hate to say it but I am going to have to borrow from my kids college money and pay off the cards I do have and get out of this hole. Is anyone else out there in this situation?? I was supposed to send my autistic son to camp this summer using that card. I don't know what to do. I need help badly. I feel like dying right now. Crawling in a hole and dying. Really, I don't have any reason to live because I can't face my kids. I can't pay for anything for them.
Monday, October 12, 2009
Maddie is extremely sick with a sinus infection but I think it is developing into bronchitis. It could not have come at a worse time. She has missed 2 choreography sessions. and has note been able to sing at all. She is getting ready for the biggest audition of her life, and having trouble on the chorus. I want her to learn a back up song just in case but she can't sing a note.
On Saturday we had to go to NY to get head shots taken. She was sneezing and her eyes were watering the whole time. I did her hair and make up because of the money situation but I think it came out pretty good. He said she was beautiful. Of course, because she is. He is the most amazing photographer. Jeffrey Hornstein. There was noone in Connecticut that could compare. I am so glad I took the time to go to NY and didn't take the easy way out because her pictures are AMAZING. He thought she looked like Scarlette Johannson. He kept forgetting how old she was because she was doing so well taking direction and using her eyes. Unfortunately I have an 11yr old daughter who exudes sex appeal with even knowing it.
It is so hard because she has this adult body and adult voice and dances in 3inch heels and sings with this 3 octave voice, but she is mostly a little brat and I have to deal with tantrums and attitudes. Thank God she has no idea that she has grown men turning around to look at her when she walks by because I feel like hanging a sign off her that says "I'm 11!" In big orange letters with neon flashing lights.
My poor son is about to turn 15 and still weighs 70 pounds. They are both taking kickboxing classes. Her for self defense and to get in shape and him to build muscle and stamina. He's also taking weight gainer when he works out so he doesn't burn off any calories. Its like a milkshake but protein instead of fat. He's also about 3 insches shorter than his sister. He is slightly autistic and has ocd and adhd and has been on medication which slows growth, I just hope it starts to catch up soon. His father was small, my brother is small. He want's to be a pilot and he needs to grow while hes in school in order to be a pilot. (Only officers fly).
If Maddie doesn't get better soon I don't know if she will be ok for this audition. She has 2 voice teachers. 1 doesn't think she has a shot anyway she is so bad at this chorus and the other 1 is freaking out since he found out she has someone besides him. I also decided to enter her in a pageant. It is a "natural beauty" pageant. Nothing like that show "toddlers and tiaras". I just want her to feel good about herself. I don't really have the money. I don't have any money. Since I have been sick and on disability I only get $300 a month after we pay rent to live on. Almost everything is on credit so I'm drowning. I can't earn much more even if I could work because I will lose my medical benefits. I really can't lose those, I go to the hospital to get my blood checked every 2 weeks. I don't know what to do sometimes, I think I'm going crazy. I really wish I would win one of those crazy scratch tickets and win for life or something.
On Saturday we had to go to NY to get head shots taken. She was sneezing and her eyes were watering the whole time. I did her hair and make up because of the money situation but I think it came out pretty good. He said she was beautiful. Of course, because she is. He is the most amazing photographer. Jeffrey Hornstein. There was noone in Connecticut that could compare. I am so glad I took the time to go to NY and didn't take the easy way out because her pictures are AMAZING. He thought she looked like Scarlette Johannson. He kept forgetting how old she was because she was doing so well taking direction and using her eyes. Unfortunately I have an 11yr old daughter who exudes sex appeal with even knowing it.
It is so hard because she has this adult body and adult voice and dances in 3inch heels and sings with this 3 octave voice, but she is mostly a little brat and I have to deal with tantrums and attitudes. Thank God she has no idea that she has grown men turning around to look at her when she walks by because I feel like hanging a sign off her that says "I'm 11!" In big orange letters with neon flashing lights.
My poor son is about to turn 15 and still weighs 70 pounds. They are both taking kickboxing classes. Her for self defense and to get in shape and him to build muscle and stamina. He's also taking weight gainer when he works out so he doesn't burn off any calories. Its like a milkshake but protein instead of fat. He's also about 3 insches shorter than his sister. He is slightly autistic and has ocd and adhd and has been on medication which slows growth, I just hope it starts to catch up soon. His father was small, my brother is small. He want's to be a pilot and he needs to grow while hes in school in order to be a pilot. (Only officers fly).
If Maddie doesn't get better soon I don't know if she will be ok for this audition. She has 2 voice teachers. 1 doesn't think she has a shot anyway she is so bad at this chorus and the other 1 is freaking out since he found out she has someone besides him. I also decided to enter her in a pageant. It is a "natural beauty" pageant. Nothing like that show "toddlers and tiaras". I just want her to feel good about herself. I don't really have the money. I don't have any money. Since I have been sick and on disability I only get $300 a month after we pay rent to live on. Almost everything is on credit so I'm drowning. I can't earn much more even if I could work because I will lose my medical benefits. I really can't lose those, I go to the hospital to get my blood checked every 2 weeks. I don't know what to do sometimes, I think I'm going crazy. I really wish I would win one of those crazy scratch tickets and win for life or something.
Monday, July 6, 2009
It was almost over before it began!
I could have died! Saturday night I tried to log into youtube and I was locked out. I had used my log in to open this bloggerspot account, tying it in to a google adsense account. Somehow it all became a jumbled mess. Now I can't use that account to open anything and I have to use my original gmail google account to open everything. Thank god I figured out that my original youtube login was still safely hiding away.
Now I am trying to get busy on my beads. I have made some ncredible looking pieces of work. I just need to start making A LOT of them. But I am SO TIRED. I can barely keep my eyes open now.
I am waiting for a response about the Green Day tickets. Would you believe they tried to give us a seat in a seperate section? wtf? I wrote back and said that was unaccecptable.
I also got this really awesome new karaoke machine for Maddie to practice on. You can record directly to it, and you can plug a guitar and keyboard into it. I has all sorts of features. Now I just need to find it cheaper because it was $120 at Toyrs R Us, even though it is definetly far from a toy. Its the best freakin' karaoke machine I've seen so far. It has so many features!
Something happened I feel really bad about. I was sure that Mike took my memory card out of my computer. How it disappeared I have no idea but it did. I asked Mike to print something for me and I never saw it again. So since he kept bugging me for a card I thought he had taken it. Well, finally my mother produces it. She had it hidden in her change cup. She had found it and thought it was a ds game. The fishy thing is she says she found it in the dryer. I know I never took it out my computer. Still I have no proof he took it and I feel bad for accusing him.
I just get short tempered when I am tired and I am sooooo tired.
Now I am trying to get busy on my beads. I have made some ncredible looking pieces of work. I just need to start making A LOT of them. But I am SO TIRED. I can barely keep my eyes open now.
I am waiting for a response about the Green Day tickets. Would you believe they tried to give us a seat in a seperate section? wtf? I wrote back and said that was unaccecptable.
I also got this really awesome new karaoke machine for Maddie to practice on. You can record directly to it, and you can plug a guitar and keyboard into it. I has all sorts of features. Now I just need to find it cheaper because it was $120 at Toyrs R Us, even though it is definetly far from a toy. Its the best freakin' karaoke machine I've seen so far. It has so many features!
Something happened I feel really bad about. I was sure that Mike took my memory card out of my computer. How it disappeared I have no idea but it did. I asked Mike to print something for me and I never saw it again. So since he kept bugging me for a card I thought he had taken it. Well, finally my mother produces it. She had it hidden in her change cup. She had found it and thought it was a ds game. The fishy thing is she says she found it in the dryer. I know I never took it out my computer. Still I have no proof he took it and I feel bad for accusing him.
I just get short tempered when I am tired and I am sooooo tired.
Saturday, July 4, 2009
1st post
Ok so this is my first post to the Mike and Maddie blog. There is not much to say. I ordered the Green Day tickets for us and Raven. Yay! So that is one thing less to worry about. I still don't have a date in mind as to when we are leaving. If I did I could buy Toby Keith tickets for NC. I am so tired all of the time and everything takes so long on this freaking computer or I would have a million necklaces and bracelets made and a website up to sell them already. Instad I can barely make one or two a day because I just want to sleep by the time I get done with all of the stuff on the computer. I have 2 downloads of backing tracks in higher keys but I don't think they are the right keys yet. Maddie can't go into the recording studio until we have the right backing tracks. I need like 2 days straight of sleep then I'll be able to think.
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