Maddie is extremely sick with a sinus infection but I think it is developing into bronchitis. It could not have come at a worse time. She has missed 2 choreography sessions. and has note been able to sing at all. She is getting ready for the biggest audition of her life, and having trouble on the chorus. I want her to learn a back up song just in case but she can't sing a note.

On Saturday we had to go to NY to get head shots taken. She was sneezing and her eyes were watering the whole time. I did her hair and make up because of the money situation but I think it came out pretty good. He said she was beautiful. Of course, because she is. He is the most amazing photographer. Jeffrey Hornstein. There was noone in Connecticut that could compare. I am so glad I took the time to go to NY and didn't take the easy way out because her pictures are AMAZING. He thought she looked like Scarlette Johannson. He kept forgetting how old she was because she was doing so well taking direction and using her eyes. Unfortunately I have an 11yr old daughter who exudes sex appeal with even knowing it.

It is so hard because she has this adult body and adult voice and dances in 3inch heels and sings with this 3 octave voice, but she is mostly a little brat and I have to deal with tantrums and attitudes. Thank God she has no idea that she has grown men turning around to look at her when she walks by because I feel like hanging a sign off her that says "I'm 11!" In big orange letters with neon flashing lights.

My poor son is about to turn 15 and still weighs 70 pounds. They are both taking kickboxing classes. Her for self defense and to get in shape and him to build muscle and stamina. He's also taking weight gainer when he works out so he doesn't burn off any calories. Its like a milkshake but protein instead of fat. He's also about 3 insches shorter than his sister. He is slightly autistic and has ocd and adhd and has been on medication which slows growth, I just hope it starts to catch up soon. His father was small, my brother is small. He want's to be a pilot and he needs to grow while hes in school in order to be a pilot. (Only officers fly).

If Maddie doesn't get better soon I don't know if she will be ok for this audition. She has 2 voice teachers. 1 doesn't think she has a shot anyway she is so bad at this chorus and the other 1 is freaking out since he found out she has someone besides him. I also decided to enter her in a pageant. It is a "natural beauty" pageant. Nothing like that show "toddlers and tiaras". I just want her to feel good about herself. I don't really have the money. I don't have any money. Since I have been sick and on disability I only get $300 a month after we pay rent to live on. Almost everything is on credit so I'm drowning. I can't earn much more even if I could work because I will lose my medical benefits. I really can't lose those, I go to the hospital to get my blood checked every 2 weeks. I don't know what to do sometimes, I think I'm going crazy. I really wish I would win one of those crazy scratch tickets and win for life or something.